Time to unlock the back door.
Emoji Stickers / Ben Henry / BuzzFeed
Anal sex is often a thing people can be nervous about if they haven't done it before. There are certain things you already know if you're something of a pro, but what about if you're completely new at all this butt stuff? BuzzFeed UK spoke to Dr Seán Cassidy, a doctor working in sexual health, and Tracey Cox, a sex expert, to help put together a guide so everything runs smoothly.
The Solo Anal Expedition
If you're going to have anal sex with somebody else, it might be best to try exploring yourself first. You wouldn't buy a new car without giving it a test drive first, right? You can begin exploring using just your hands. « Finger insertion is a great way to get your bottoms used to being penetrated, » says Tracey.
Sex toys should also be something you take into account. Tracey told BuzzFeed: « If you’re nervous about trying anal with a partner, try inserting a butt plug before masturbating to see what it feels like. »
There are a ton of sex shops online that you can buy anal-specific toys from to help you get used to the feeling of having something in your ass: A butt plug or a beginner's dildo is a good start (just make sure whatever you buy has a flared base so it doesn't disappear and get lost in there). If you'd rather not spend money on sex toys, Tracey says your hands will do the trick: “If you don’t want to invest in a toy, try inserting a well-lubed finger. You’ll feel the sphincter muscles contract around your finger and have more of an idea what to expect when you insert a toy or penis.”
Know your shit (excuse the pun).
It's time to get scientific and look at the butt in more detail. An ass includes an external and internal sphincter. The external sphincter can be « squeezed and released voluntarily » while the internal sphincter « works involuntarily and on reflex ». If you've ever tried anal sex or explored your own ass (which you should totally do anyway if you want to have all the butt sex), you might notice that you naturally clench when something goes in. Tracey points out: « The more you gently play around the area, the more it will relax. » This is why foreplay and exploration is extremely important! But that's a separate point altogether.
It's also worth pointing out that if you're doing anal sex with a man who is receiving, his prostate (aka P-spot or male G-spot) is located up his rear. Find that (up and back a bit) and he'll thank you later.